Melancholic Graduate of 2014

Take some consideration that this is Hamlet in 2014: 
Will I be or won`t I be a graduate of Righetti High School during June of 2014? That is the question. The answer is yes and I am standing here before you giving a speech on how I accomplished my present goals and how I will go through "the road less traveled" (Robert Frost). It is mid-June and it is very hot, so here I go ...

We have all had bumps in the road. Some bumps are larger than others. My mom is having an affair with the "king", she is mentally dead to me, my father has been jailed  or presumably recorded as dead by now, and my biggest task is to go to college? How does something like that happen? Well, we all have to do our homework and classwork at some point. Now for the selection of classes, you have to choose them strategically, almost like a game. If you choose the wrong one, you will lose points and would have wasted precious time in the process. Your scholarship packets are your swords and shields when going into battle with the 3 headed admissions officers. Your armory, if built correctly, will get you through the gate on to a better life. If not, you will be eaten up and spit back out to where you started. But, whose to say that we haven`t all defeated those beasts to get through that wonderful gate? Now what you do beyond that gate is up to you. Now you are a grown, well built man, strong enough to defend yourself. You have just started to live your own life and will be improving the lives of your future family from what you have learned in your childhood and adolescent years.